Sunday Funday

I know this week is likely to bring some big changes for us and that my kiddo is likely to spend a lot of his time with others.  I have a couple of interviews that both seem very promising and both require someone who can start immediately so I'm planning for the impending moment when I'm not a stay at home Mommy anymore because while I dread leaving him with someone else for even five minutes I am certain it's time to change chapters. With that in mind every moment we have left of me with him full time I wanted to spend HAVING FUN and getting us ready for spending the day with others.

So, the Kiddo and I woke up today and got dressed to go run some errands, while we were out running errands I decided we were going to get his hair cut, for the record....I LOVE his long hair and absolutely hated having it trimmed, which means that what happened next wasn't even remotely entertaining to me. The EVIL lady was only supposed to trim things up, make his bangs so they didn't hang in his eyes and trim up the rest so that it blended. Naturally, things didn't go as planned! She immediately went to his bangs and made a mess of them, then went away so she could pretend she hadn't just cut this HUGE chunk out of his bangs so that they would have to be ridiculously short. Eventually she finishes with the rest of his head, only to have to come back and finish his bangs and made it so much worse......It  isn't like he's a girl and needs bangs, it's more this hair is usually long, I'm not used to seeing it so short and now it just looks crazy to me. The line is completely uneven and in some places not even an inch long. Clearly this lady will never come near my kiddo with her scissors again. ;-)

(He's sleeping....but I just wanted to give you a visual of his hair, this is with it combed over so that it wouldn't be as obvious....at least I hoped it wouldn't be as obvious!)

After the haircut mess we came home, had lunch and this sweet boy took a two and a half hour nap and then we went to the park. Pey spent some time in his stroller so I could walk/run two miles and then we played like crazy at the playground. He was sooooo excited to be able to run around and do exactly what he wanted without mean Mommy telling him "No!" over and over. ;-)

My point with this whole rambling post is something an old friend said to me the other night....This is our new normal, this is our routine. It's time to accept that things have changed and stop waiting in Limbo for them to change again.

We didn't sit around waiting for the possiblity that he might call, we didn't need his permission to go out and live our lives and we absolutely didn't call and ask if he was comfortable with us moving on. I'm trying not to be angry, I'm just throwing myself into taking care of my kiddo and keeping a smile on his sweet face.

Now wish me luck that the lady hiring for a photographer calls me tomorrow and tells me to come work for her because EVERY SINGLE THING about that job is perfect for our life and it's the job I ABSOLUTELY want.

Goodnight, Friends! Thanks for reading!

It's a Brave New Day, the kind that offers Rainbows and Leprechauns.

I said I would tell you what's going on in our little world and share the important details with you, so here goes:

     I started making diaper cakes last month, I have them on facebook, craigslist, Etsy and now I'm telling you about them here. :-) I'm not entirely sure if I will keep making them or if I will make them full time like I considered at one point, but for now it's something I enjoy.

I'm looking for a job, a real job, the kind of job that offers stability, a regular paycheck, and a regular schedule......and I'm looking for every single way I can work from home and provide for my Kiddo, while still managing to support the two of us and not have to put his adorable, little self in daycare. This is the part of being a single Mommy that scares me. I know I can handle the rest.

Everyday I wake up, I see my kiddo and I know that even though for a few seconds it seems crazy we aren't with his Daddy, we will be okay, that this world might be a big scary place, but we really will make it and be happy. This Kiddo and I are going to be just fine!

We've spent a lot of time finding the magic in life. It stormed the other day, a lot of the day, the clouds were gray and we were all cranky, we had been out taking care of things when on the way home we spotted a double rainbow....so we did the only thing there is to do when you see a double rainbow. We followed it, we drove down several long winding roads with the windows down and the radio up (we were in the middle of a break in the rain) looking for the end of the rainbow and searching for little, green Leprechauns.

The rainbow kept moving, just out of reach so we weren't able to actually find the end and the Leprechauns, But WE KNOW THEY EXIST!

The Beginning of my Blogging journey. :-)

I've realized I need to vent, in a huge way, that I want to share things I haven't been sharing, I want to tell the world how I feel and get it all out there for everyone to know and understand....so I'm going to blog and I just hope that if you're reading my blog it's because you want to be a part of mine and my Kiddo's journey, that you want to encourage us or to just be there with us.

I'm a single Mommy now, my Husband and I aren't together, so it's me and this beautiful Kiddo facing this big, scary world in a new place where it feels like we only have each other. Sometimes, I am not sure at all how we will survive even five minutes of an hour and other times I can't see how we survived the last month of being with him.

I miss my beautiful husband, our friendship, our life and dreams, I miss our cuddling, our conversations, his smell, I miss everything about him. And then I miss nothing at all, I remember the days of being stuck in the house feeling like I was going no where at all, feeling trapped as though all the walls were closing in on me. I remember the way everything about him drove me insane, how his voice was constantly in this angry tone, never happy unless he was talking to someone else.

Now, I wake up and get dressed, I get the Kiddo dressed, and we go out for the entire day (sometimes we don't come home till the next day), I actually pack a diaper bag because I know we won't be back for hours, I bring jammies for us both, extra diapers for him, sleep over basics, toys, everything I think we will need. We go out, we hang out with new friends and family, we make plans for our future....well I make plans for our future and the Kiddo just sits back and enjoys the ride. We've both made so many new friends, met people we will love forever, people that have helped us to not only survive this time but to actually enjoy and thrive in this time. I'm so glad we don't have to live in a world that is sad and angry anymore, I'm so excited for everything life has to offer.

I am beginning to remember the girl I used to be, the one I was before I met my husband, before I got lost in everything we've been through. She's so much happier and prettier than this angry woman I have become. I swear I like her so much more than who I am today and I'm going to do everything I can to make her happiness my happiness.

This blog is going to be about our life. I may put it on the back burner at times, I may not tell you everything, I may at times tell you about things you could care less about, but I will always strive to tell you what's important to us at that time and to share with you what's going on in our lives in that place. I hope you enjoy reading.